depressed, free write, freedom of speech, letter to, LGBTQ, Longwinded nothingness, love, poetry, short story, Uncategorized

Unrequited

Why am I able to feel feelings for you, in this way, when no matter what I do, you’ll never love me back?

If I could control my emotions, I’d take my heart off my sleeve and put it in a lock box three feet under the sandbox. Nobody ever gets that far trying to dig to China, so it should be safe there.  

I view you as perfect, amazing, everything I’ve ever wanted and more. 

I know you’re not perfect, and in many ways not amazing. But that doesn’t matter. Because

My emotions act as a filter. I’m always thinking with either my heart or my head. I can never think with both, but I can contrast the two.. If I tell you how I feel, what would it change? I know nothing would change. I settle for the way things are now, but I’m not happy with them. 
I’m always here, and you always come back to me. For support, or a shoulder to cry on, or simply as a pair of arms to comfort you. But somehow.. When I need the same you’re not there. But that’s okay. I’ll continue to be there for you. Patiently, unfairly waiting for the day you notice I’ve been here all along. Living by your site. Loving you, and your flaws openly. But none of that matters to you, and it doesn’t matter now. Because you just got your heart broken again.. And came back to me for a hug.

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