‘Hm.. That’s a strange shadow. Sorta looks like a person.’
I look on top the building, and see a girl standing on the edge. She looks upset. I might as well go up and check it out.
The door isn’t locked. I climb up 8 flights of stairs. I’m breathing kinda hard by the time I reach the top. The door to the roof is clearly marked so I go through it. The door creaks and the girl turns around.
“DON’T! DONT COME ANY CLOSER!” She yells at me.
I furrow my brow. “Why not? Whether I go over there or not has no impact on if you jump. Does it?”
She frowns. I walk over to the ledge and sit down about two feet from her.
“Why are you here?” She asks.
“I was walking by. Felt like coming to see what you were doing. There’s a pretty good view of the city from here.”
She considers kicking me. I can see it on her face. I look back at the skyline of the city.
“Are you gonna try and talk me down?”
“Do you want to be talked down?” I respond. I still don’t look at her.
Out the corner of my eye I see droplets falling over the edge. Either it’s raining, or she’s crying. Probably crying. I still don’t look at her.
“Yes. No. I don’t know what I want anymore.”
I glance at her. Shes looking at me and has tear stains going down her cheeks.I reach in my pocket and hand her a tissue I grabbed on the off chance I’d need it in a Wendy’s earlier.
“Have a seat. All that standing probably made you tired.”
She sits down wiping her face not even realizing she stopped standing on the edge.
“Can I ask you something?” She says. I nod and look at the cars driving in the distance. “Do you think I’m pretty?” I look at her. I really look at her. The curve of her jaw, the shape of the arch of her eyebrows, the color of her blue-green eyes and the will to live that’s gone out of them. Her salmon colored lips and dark orange hair. The splash of freckles across the bridge of her nose on her slightly tanned skin. She’s pretty. She’s not gonna stop traffic but I like the way she looks.
She waits as I study her. And the longer I look the more she starts to fidget. When she breaks eye contact I look back at the cars.
“What does my opinion matter to you. I’m a stranger. For all you know, I could be gay.”
Based on the look on her face I can tell she was not expecting that answer.
“Are you gay?”
I shake my head. “Then do you think I’m pretty?” She asks again.
I make direct eye contact. “I think you’re pretty. I think you’re really pretty. Personally you’re my ideal woman. If in looks only. But looks aren’t everything. Were you on the edge because someone called you ugly?”
She’s beet red. “No. I’m not that petty. I was on the edge because I’m alone. My family is dead, my friends don’t ever want to hang out with me and my last boyfriend killed himself.”
I look at her again. She looks at me.
“That’s why you want to die?”
She looks down. “I don’t want to die. I just don’t know, if I want to live.”
I realize I’m sweating. And then I realize that some of what I thought was her blushing was also flushing from the heat.
“Do you wanna go get a smoothie or something? Its pretty hot up here.”
She looks at me like I’m an idiot. I look at her calmly and wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. She keeps looking at me. I break eye contact but I can still feel her staring. “Okay.. Maybe it was a bad idea.”
She comes closer to me. She puts one hand on my shoulder and holds my chin with the other. She tilts my head this way and that then sits back to look at me some more.
“…are you transgender?”
Okay. Obviously I wasn’t passing as well as I thought. But I nod. She stands up and extends a hand toward me. “I’m buying” she says.
I’m very, very confused right now. What the hell just happened? I follow behind her. I’m about three inches taller than her. I take this chance to.. Take in her figure. It’s not a bad one. I don’t look for more than two seconds. I’m not a creep I swear.
We get to the first floor and go out. About two blocks away is a smoothie shop. We walk the two blocks in silence stealing glances at each other when we think the other isn’t looking. I got pretty quiet after I realized I wasn’t passing as well. Keeping my head sort of down and not looking at strangers. Not talking.
“Are you okay?” She asks me outside the smoothie shop. I open the door for her and nod while shrugging. Like ‘yeah of course’.
We order smoothies. Hers is pink and mine is a sort of light purple. She pays literally slapping my hand away when I tried. The cashier got a kick out of that and then we sat in a corner booth.
“Whats your name?” I ask. She looks at me with a crooked grin.
“Only took you forever to ask. You can call me Angel.” She says.
I feel like that’s not her name but nod. “Jason.” I say and reach out my hand to shake hers. She scoffs and sips her smoothie leaving me there awkwardly with an outstretched hand. I look down and sip my smoothie with that hand now under the table. I feel her staring at me again. But this time I don’t mind as much. I look up and defiantly stare back. She scoots over to my side of the bench. I sip my smoothie again and pretend to ignore her. She reaches her hand under the bottom of my shirt. I feel my heartbeat quicken because I don’t know what she’s going to do.