Buddhism, depressed, LGBTQ, Longwinded nothingness, religion, Transgender(FTM), Uncategorized

Easter or Ishtar or just another day.

What exactly is paganism? There are so many variations of beliefs. Easter is supposed to be such a big deal, to kids it’s egg hunts, baskets and candy but to adults it’s Jesus’ ressurection day. Christians don’t seem to realize they’re worshipping essentially a vampire. 

Believed to be dead but rises from the dead, feeds you his flesh and blood. He’s either a vampire or a zombie. Just saying.

After waiting on mail for almost a month the day I do the math and think it should come early next week less than an hour later it shows up at my door. Fucking customs holding shit for fucking ever. I mean I know it’s for safety reasons and all but what if I ordered something perishable, I’d just get mold or a dripping box in the mail.

I don’t know anything really about paganism but I did some light research and some things seem to never change. Pagans and the old Greeks both believed in multiple gods and goddesses. I also would like to believe there’s not just one all powerful being because frankly if there is we were abandoned by it plain and simple. However if there are multiple beings each in control of something of their own it would make sense as to why earth isn’t a desert all over. 

Being raised in shared Christian and Catholic household I’m very confused when it comes to this god. Is Jesus gods son or is Jesus god? Because nobody can seem to make up their mind. What does the rosary have to do with Mary and why? If she’s a virgin then didn’t god basically rape her insides without giving her a choice?

Is paganism really witchcraft? And if it is what’s so wrong with that? Nothing should be wrong with being so in tune with nature, the elements, the gods that may be and yourself that you can make what to people not so in touch seem like magic.

Why is ‘god’ so selfish. Nobody can be above or equal to him in your eyes? Prove you exist and that you’re the only one and you deserve to be number one in everyone’s eyes. Either way, fucking selfish. 

Buddhism isn’t even a religion but a teaching. However nobody wants to open their mind and just decide to see everything in this tiny light. Buddhism is a teaching, a way to enlightenment. In a way, it can take you closer and father than ever before if you try hard enough. 

I don’t know what I believe in personally just yet but I want to be happy. If it’s coming to the realization once and for all that there’s nothing out there in charge or that there are many things with many dominions and all I have to do is listen for them or meditate to find the truth. So be it.